Forever and a DaySo many hours of so many lonely nights seemed to last forever through these misery stained eyes searching for a prettier hope. These nights I'm laying cocooned in darkness crying into the sound of "With a Million Tears" while metal slices and words bleed from my heart for a letter addressed to no one but the silent desolation surrounding me. I'll let it all burn to ashes later and float away so maybe another lonely dreamer can see that there might be hope.Forever and a Day
People have always told me there's something wrong with me. People have always told me there's something different about my quite or own dark perceptions. I don't blame
Self ExhaustionLast week I left you. I could not stand any more exhaustion.Self Exhaustion
This week you hung yourself from my closet whilst I slept.
I woke up screaming and there you were, waiting for me, head held low, tears in your eyes. I cannot remember the last time you looked so beautiful. Nor can I remember the last time I felt such a deep penitence. How you begged me to come back and show mercy in exchange for a new beginning. I refused and now you are gone forever.
I am sorry.
Dust Encrusted TimeFebruary 2004Dust Encrusted Time
The spicy coconut flavor snares your mouth with wonderful Thai essence. Your mothers taken you out to Thai for dinner as she 9th steps you with apologies- another part of her 12 step AA. Sitting there and listening you take it all in feeling the overwhelming sense of raw emotion expose part of you that isnt even present.
Im being such a pathetic lame ass in means of making communication. Im saying everything Ive ever wanted to ask but it stills not coming out right. Im like another species from her. From everyone.
You ask everything. Why she abandoned you for a month or so when
Remember Me?I'm the most beautifully hideous girl in the world. Remember me?Remember Me?
Don't you remember the girl with the broken smile and cracked over mind that spewed an electrical charge of chaos that was really meaning to be a Victorian elegance? Don't you remember my lipglass smeared lips from kissing all those other pretty girls and boys who I would never be? I was that girl. I was that girl crying over and after every kiss that meant nothing and never would. Don't you remember? My tears were charcoal down the porcelain and chalk against the board. My butchered limbs and protruding wire bones made you vomit and ask me why until I punished myse
Devious Journal Entry
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